Mate we don’t recommend you go off the main road.
Well, four years ago you gave away maps with just that recommendation. I think it was called nature tourism .. and it’s not exactly like I dont look like I don’t know what I’m doing out there, in our nature, now does it?

It’s closed now, he says, we dont maintain it anymore.
Well you never did anyway. Forestry did.
It’s dangerous it’s not safe, it’s for the public good .. what if something happens to you out there?
That’s my business bud, not yours. What’s so dangerous about it – apart from the fact you don’t look after it properly anymore?
… What if there’s a bushfire?
Ha. What if a piano drops out of the sky? You let mining companies in there ..
It’s Commonwealth land. Its closed!
Bullshit! Not much common wealth in that now, is there? It’s more likely a 50km wide fuckin hole is gonna open up under me out there. What makes you think that the Mining Corporatives – and their employees – are either safer out there, or will behave better out there than me?

Its closed buddy. We dont have any maps.
That’s a shame, says I, foreign tourists could do with a good map or two. Keep em safe!

He’s not going to talk further on the subject. But I figure I may just point out that since it is Commonwealth Land, it’s world famous, not just the shitty little spots he cleans the toilets in, but the whole fucking Forest … Open forest its called .. I’ve been in there before, I want to see what it looks like now but have stupidly lost my old map, I have a two wheel drive vehicle, I’m old, responsible and have no inclination to visit destruction on either the Forest nor upon myself, and that I’m going in anyway .. least he could do was to give me a copy of the old map so I don’t get lost and some nitwit doesn’t have to spend any dosh coming in there to rescue me – not that he’s ever going to know anyhow – that a map is all I’m going to need to keep me safe.

Its Commonwealth Land – its CLOSED!

Closed to the common wealth, and open to rape by your corporations!

“Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, Where wealth accumulates, and men decay” – Oliver Goldsmith.