“What is with these people? Why can’t they leave the poor fella alone?” said Coon Jazz through the smoke haze.

“Leave who alone, Col?” I answered. “What the hell you mumbling about?”
“Slomo .. jeez can’t the poor fella have a holiday … These people … Jeez, everyone deserves a holiday!”
“Scomo, I think ya mean Col. Though I get your point, he’s certainly the epitome of slow motion in inaction … At least when it comes to the things that matter to us ordinary folk.”
“Well, whats wrong with im avin a holiday? All these people avin a go at im for jetting away for an overseas holiday … Its a bit harsh, e probably booked it and paid for it and he don’t want to lose his money … gotta give the fella a break sometime!”
“Its just the radio,” breaks in the brand new Gnomad, all the lefties and Christmas detractors … The sooner Dutton shuts down the bloody ABC and starts gaoling the vegans the better.”
“Too right too right.” says Col. He has a way of repeating or agreeing with whatever the last thing that comes up in a conversation does old Coon Jazz.
“Your teeth Col. Keep em in.” I say …”You know you old fellas, the problem with the King, old slow motion as you call him Col, having a holiday is that the bastard hasn’t done anything to deserve it. What’s more, is that its not his money its ours, and, if he’s really serious about using our money to boost the economy you’d think he’d be having a holiday in Ulladulla, Menindee or the Central Coast or up at Port Macquarie! Eh?”
“But them places are full of smoke … Not very healthy for im to take is kiddies on a holiday to.”

The new Gnomad sucks again on his cool beer. Muffled. He’s sensed that I’m no fan of the Royal Cretin. And he’s sensed that Coon Jazz and I go way back, and that perhaps old Coon Jazz may be a bit of a leftie himself.

“I think that the problem Col, its not so much that his Royal Disgrace’s given himself a holiday and’s charging it to us, its the fact that he’s cleared out overseas with the dosh and left us here battling away with these fake bushfires … Just when, too, that all the Fireys wanted a chat with him about climate action and its attendant smoke screens … Not to mention maybe a bit of pay for their extended volunteer duty.”
“Jeezus fuckin Christ, Mitchell,” Col splutters, retrieving the dentures from his little dog. “E’s the prime minister!”
“Well, he should be taken out the back and shot, or perhaps left in an empty coal bin with a bunch of teenagers, an aerosol can and a few packets of matches.”

The new Gnomad wipes his teary eyes, blinks, takes another suck of his nicely chilled can and says, “He’s probably only gone off for a week or two to some nice calm Pacific Island.”

“Yep. Manus … Or maybe Christmas Island, pick up a nice suntan and fiddle with some books. Ah that’s the life, eh … reckon he’ll be tonguing for a pay rise when he get back.”

“The demand for equality among beings that are naturally equal is really just the demand that all power explain itself. A justice that comes from nature is in essence a justice that comes with reasons and is therefore subject to explanation and revision” – Matthew Stewart.