He’s been directing traffic all morning, tellin folk that they can’t get around here behind me, where my niece could back the Kings bus about in circles … He’s creating his own little community. There are 900+ of them up here in Union City Queensland trying to break a record. Guinness. No no not drinking it, its too expensive .. theyre RVs, gnomads. They’re out to form the longest line of moving recreational vehicular traffic ever. Ever!

They’re going to block the road to the next town .. god help them if any one needs to turn around, or an emergency service vehicle needs to get through – not more than five of the drivers can back. Its a narrow road, high shouldered and black soil down in the gutters. To me, looks like we could get a little rain .. I only stopped for a shower but hell, 900+ RVs .. 600 odd wheelchair type things, buckets of all sorts of ooze laying about, 200 blunt chainsaws a swinging, generators, humming lapdogs, gurgling masterbating machines and those damned Union Jacks. Wall to wall age. Proof that life just doesn’t get any better … Its a damned shame. Anyway, ..

He’s one of those fellas whose probably lived out in the suburbs all his life and now, in his age and wisdom, wants the apartment experience. Sociable .. the wife never leaves the TV so why not, its a free world. Everythings registered in Queensland. Everything, even if you’re not from here. Its not that its cheaper, which it is, but you only ever have to do it once. Once. So sensible. They laugh at me, NSW, having to go through the whole stupid procedure evey year. Roadworthys, they say, just once and its good to go. Another good thing about Queensland is that If you want to build a Westfield on your RV – You can do it! If you want to have one of Pete Dutton’s – KindyBanks on the back of your RV – You can do it! You can have an ADANI mine on the back of your RV if you want, Yes You Can .. ’cause its Queensland.

These fellas with their apartment block complex do get me down a bit though, I admit. I’ve not got one. What I do have is a slingshot, we used to call them catapults – catties – when I was a kid. I only use marbles in it now. Anyway these fellas are determined to incorporate me into their block. Not me really, they’re more interested in the space. Me, I’m not really a corporate type of person and I don’t yet have my own hearing aid. I reckon, if I can hit the side of the RV with my slingshot .., then they’re too close … What you reckon kids?

‘Im not going to do Nothing anymore.’
‘Never again?’
‘Well, not so much. They don’t let you.’ ” – Christopher Robin to Pooh.