What do you do when you find a law that’s on your side? You exploit it!

A wobbly old fella reeled into the Narrabri Info Shack on Sunday morning, he’d been expelled from the Wee Waa Showground – apparently because the kids needed it for their kids little Pony Club and sick wobbly old single men are considered to be a danger to the kids these days. I was waiting to see if I could exchange an old book for an intelligent new one and quite frankly, he smelled like death .. anyway I heared him explain to the middle aged lady manning the desk that he needed to be off the road incase he had a heart attack, and he would like to be near a toilet just incase his heart came out of his arse due to his medically induced drug habit! This last bit he whispered with obvious embarrassment.

The council operative, said, “Stiff shit buddy ..”, Yes, he whispered, but I’m hoping it doesnt stay that way for too long. Anyway he wanted to know if it was okay to spend the night down by her river in the Travellers Rest Area as the Narrabri Showground was also barred to him due to another Pony Club jaunt. “No chance” she said, and offered him some hugely exploitative private accommodation options where, she suggested, it would be more appropriate for him to die. By this time I had decided that there was no such thing as a new intelligent book and had pocketed my old copy of ‘The Lives of the Later Caesars’ and decided that perhaps I could be of aid to the old fella. Waving the old lass’s next comment away with my grubby paw I suggested he go on down to the Cop Shop and I was sure that they would sort something out for him. “Oh not a cell,” he said “not another cell!”. He then explained that he was afraid lest they arrested him for driving against his doctors orders and risking the lives of the little kiddies on their way to their Pony Club!

Now I’m not exactly a fan of the cops, but you know, you only live once .. so taking him with me I cleared a space amongst the bongs and war clubs littering my old van and drove the poor fella down to the shop.

Well, they said, Buddy there’s plenty of room down by the river behind the Info Shack, its Grand Final day we dont have time for this shit – tell the old bag to pull her head in and get a life. But, if you die no ones gonna come and get you until after the long weekend – Ok?

With obvious relief he thanked them profusely. (Me, I hoped he wouldn’t get too much relief til I got him back down to his own vehicle!). He offered to buy me a chunk of KFC for my troubles when I dropped him back. No thanks I said, Ive already got the shits.

“There were giants in those days ; and let not the generation that succeeds disparage their mighty predecessors.” – John Milton